On Leaving

True Loves,

As I have to return the internet equipment and such I thought I would write my leaving blog now.

I don't know if there is any other time in life where you feel these kinds of emotions. You feel more independent than ever, yet have never been more excited to see Mommy and Daddy. You've never felt more content being alone, but if you have a partner, never felt more in love. You feel nostalgic and not quite ready to leave this home, yet impatient to get back to your other one. You feel smarter than ever after feeling dumb for 5 months (nothing like trying to explain your nose hole closed up in German).

You feel like there are friendships you should have nurtured more, and ones you held on to too long. You feel aware of how wonderful people back home are...or not.

You feel like a grown up but have never been more dependent on people's support.

You feel beautiful.

You feel fat.

And if you're me, you want to process and analyze every feeling you're feeling into neat little packages and find a perfect word for it. But sometimes, you just have to let it be.


Off to the United States on Saturday,


With Love,
Emily

Final Countdown

My True Loves,

Here I am, the day before, the day before I leave. I find myself walking over to the room where my suitcase for Germany is located staring at it, leaving, and going on a trashy shopping excursion to calm my nerves. What do I mean by trashy? Let's just say I don't think I've been in any stores other than WalMart or the Dollar Tree in some time. And yes, I know, the labor and all that jazz, but the fact is yesterday I picked up some sweet Miley Cyrus sweat pant jeans for $7 and I'm proud, no pajama jean ( http://www.pajamajeans.com/ ) but good enough.

Admittedly, when I located that link for you all I got totally immersed in the infomercial and stopped blogging. Thoughts--do infomercials include big words just to make you think you're buying something not cheap, ridiculous, and unnecessary? The proprietary blend...

As I near the final days I've started to wonder what I'll miss most about the states and this little town. Certainly Bueno Y Sano, my favorite non-Mexican Mexican food restaurant, and watching my less than educated, more than entertaining, TV shows live--there's something sad about watching "The Real Housewives" on hulu. Naturally, my friends, family and boyfriend (and spooning with said boyfriend) and definitely American toilets.

Ah well, off to check the weather, again, and look at my suitcase a couple more times. Anyone have any hints on how to make 5 months worth of stuff fit into one suitcase and be under the weight limit?

With love,

Emily